why hello there

My, has it been a while! I often forget about this sweet little place where I used to share pieces of my life.

A lot has changed since my last update nearly an entire year ago! We are now married, Gunner is T W O years old, and we have some big plans for our future. Life is as busy as ever, but there are a lot of great things to come and I’m thinking about spending a little more time here to share bits and pieces of our journey along the way!

Stay tuned…

easter sunday //

happy Easter, everyone! today was such a good day. being a parent and getting to do things to make holidays special for your children is honestly the best feeling in the world. it gave me so much joy to put together gunner’s Easter basket, pick out a special outfit for him for the day, fill and place plastic eggs around our yard for him to gather – all of it was so truly satisfying. the look on his face when he saw his basket and his excitement during the egg hunt was priceless. this was his second holiday, but because he was barely two months old last year, this one really felt like the first one we got to celebrate with a basket and all of the other traditions we’re starting with him. i am so looking forward to future holiday celebrations with our sweet baby boy – each and every one gets a little more fun as he grows from a baby into a toddler. i hope everyone had a blessed day with their loved ones. let us rejoice, for He has risen!

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motherhood ♡ //

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I will climb playgrounds with you. I will carry you and hold you when you want to be close, no matter what. I will nurse and rock you to sleep every day and every night, because that’s what you need from me right now. I will let you hog the bed and sleep with your feet on me all night while I halfway dangle off the side. I will let you nurse for what feels like all night long because you need comfort and that’s where you find it. I will cook you meals only to have you throw it on the floor and not take a single bite. I will clean up your toys 500 times a day only for you to dump them all out 500 times more. I will give you all of me for as long as you need, because that’s what being a mother is all about. one day you won’t need me in these ways, but right now you do. and that is enough ♡

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currently feeling: exhausted.

yup. exhausted, overwhelmed, and burnt out.

hate to break it to ya, folks, but motherhood isn’t always glamorous. actually, i can’t really think of any time that it really is. but i don’t need to explain myself, because anyone who is a mother is already fully aware of that cold hard truth.

gunner has three, maybe four, teeth coming in right now – one of which is his first molar. excuse my language, but holy fucking shit. things have been a little – okay, a lot – crazy in our house this last week or two. my poor baby is clearly uncomfortable and it’s heartbreaking. i’m doing everything i can to try and put his little mouth at ease, but it doesn’t always work. amber beads, motrin at night when necessary, chamomila tablets at nap time and during the night, lots of frozen teethers and things to chew on, lots (and i mean lots) of nursing – everything i can possibly do. i just ordered some more lavender oil to rub diluted onto his feet and to diffuse for bedtime, along with some clove oil to dilute and rub on his tender gums. i’m hoping, in addition to everything else, that will help take some of the edge off sooner than later. my poor baby boy.

as hard as it is on him, i know every mother can agree that it’s hard on us mamas, too. lots of long days and rough nights seem to be teething’s method of operation. i am most definitely feeling it, and it doesn’t feel good. i don’t want to turn this post into all about “me, me me,” but i truly need to vent. while i love being with my son all day, everyday, for the last 13+ months, it can be tiring. of course there are amazing days, but there are a lot of hard days, too. and we as mothers shouldn’t feel guilty for feeling this way – for openly and honestly admitting how trying it can be at times. this motherhood thing, it’s a lot. on top of being a stay at home mama, it’s a lot. my entire day is spent caring for my adorable, busy, determined, curious, awnry, growing, did i say busy? toddler. i take care of the house – the cleaning, the laundry, the grocery shopping and meal planning and cooking, the appointment scheduling and taking, the on-going to-do lists, the errands – you get the gist. of course i don’t tend to my fiancé in the exact same manner as i do to my toddler, considering, well, he’s an adult, but i do tend to him as well. there’s always clothes to be washed and folded and hung, cooking to be done, lunches to be made, dishes to be washed, etc. all i’m saying is that it’s a lot. and between juggling the mom-me and fiance-me, there’s not very much time left for me-me.

and cue the feelings of being drained, and tired, and just outright burnt-out. i know this is just another season of life and it won’t always be this way – i totally get it. but that doesn’t always make it easier to accept or manage the feelings as they come up on a day to day basis.

well, it’s almost as if it was planned, because there’s gunner waking up from his nap on the monitor. what i was wishing to be a two-hour nap (who am i kidding, that never happens. i would have been overjoyed with an hour) was actually a 40 minute nap. whatever, better than the measly 30 minutes he took yesterday! i honestly feel a lot better just getting my feelings out and written down. it’s like a breath of fresh air in some weird way. and even after the longest days that turn into even longer nights, i know that this too shall pass and even amidst the chaos, there’s nowhere i would rather be.

nuptials //

so i’ve been meaning to start this series pretty much since we got engaged last august, but it has yet to happen… until now! my amount of free time these days is very limited! but that’s besides the point.

we are really starting to get into the marrow of wedding planning now. we’ve booked our planner, venue, photographer, videographer, officiant, are in the process of coming up with our menu with the caterer, and i’ve found my dress! it’s been a lot of work, but we’re really starting to get into the fun stuff. for the last two weeks, our planner {Davia Lee Montoya of Davia Lee Events} and I have been starting to talk florals — let’s just say it’s as exciting as i’ve always imagined it to be!

although i don’t want to give away too much, i will share some details:

when: november 7, 2015
where: central california coast
colors: marsala/garnet/deep red with accents of beige/blush/ivory, and a few touches of a pale, dusty blue
key words: romantic, rustic, vintage, magical, rich {colors}

i’m planning on doing a separate post entirely dedicated to the wedding dress shopping experience. my dress isn’t anything i expected it would be, but i am so in love with it and i cannot wait to wear it down the aisle eight and a half months from now!

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next on our {let’s be honest here – my} to-do list:
– continue working on floral inspiration
– choose bridesmaid dresses {we have an appointment scheduled for march 14}
– finalize rehearsal and reception menu

more nuptials posts to follow! is there anything specific that you would like to see? i would love to know! feel free to leave a comment down below for wedding post suggestions. i hope everyone is having a great week so far! xo

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* photos are just some inspiration photos i’ve found on pinterest {click photos for sources}

Gunner is O N E !

On Monday, February 9, our Gunner bear turned 12 months. That’s right – I officially have a one year old! How is this even possible? I feel like I was just pregnant…. like it was just a few weeks ago that I was waiting to meet the sweet baby boy that spent 39 weeks and 6 days growing inside of me. Where has the time gone? One year of motherhood, of growing, of learning, of laughing. One year of nursing, bedsharing, giggling, learning to roll, sit up, crawl, stand, and walk.  One year full of the most incredible joy I have ever know. How lucky am I to have been chosen to be your mother, Gunner Maverick.

We had his birthday party the weekend before, on Saturday the 7th. It was pretty low key, held at our home with about 25 family members and friends. I had a lot of fun making all of the decorations, and it surely kept me busy for 2-3 weeks before the party. We took photos, played, opened gifts, enjoyed our company and good food, opened presents, attempted to eat cake {Gunner wasn’t feeling the frosting!}, and overall had a great time. I didn’t take a single photo on my phone, as I wanted to fully enjoy the day rather than worrying about getting a good shot. Luckily I had arranged for a photographer to capture the day, so here’s a few photos of Gunner’s woodland animal themed first birthday party!

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